How to find a different shade of grey...

2011-01-10T08:11:00.000-08:00

Wait for the right guy

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in track pants, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, "thats her".

Bilde fra google

2010-12-14T09:42:00.000-08:00

Yeah, we knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when,
and we never knew how
Never knew how

pictures: weheartit.com
lyrics: daughtry - september

2010-12-12T15:03:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry, I haven't had time to sit down and write something good to publish these last few days. My stolen time is usually taken by work, or other peoples attention - anything else that just needs to be done before I get to start on my holidays. Just the way it always is around this time of the year. I guess everyone is just as stressed out as me.

This other day a coustumer told me that christmas has become a hustle. It's not like she was angry or sad or anything, the sentence just came out as any other statement, allthough I didn't think I heard her right the first time and might could have looked somewhat confused. I don't even remember how I responded, but I tend to give some kind of feeback that makes people state a reason for how they feel, so she gave me a look that didn't say anything less than...

"You're doing a very good job. I admire you for what you're doing, being here day in and day out, spending so much time helping people and only gets yelled at if you can't give them what they need. I don't think they would spend any of their precious time doing what you do. People tend to forget what christmas is all about," she said while I handed her the reciept. I still feel bad for not being able to do anything but smile and say thanks, 'cause the more I think of it, the more it means to me. This only happens in movies. This never happens to me.

I asked if I could help her with anything else, but she shook her head, said goodbye and headed for the entrance. It amazes me how little it takes to make each other happy. I didn't stop smiling for the rest of the day, and I really like thinking that only seeing that made someone elses day too!

Have you ever made someones day?

2010-12-08T18:31:00.000-08:00

Do you believe in Karma?

I do. I believe that everything I do will come back to me in one way ore the other. If I hurt someone, bad karma will come my way and hurt my feelings too. If i lie, that lie may sooner or later be discovered, and I will face the consequences. I also believe that I can't "control" karma. I can't be nice to a person only because I want karma to give me something good in return. When I do something good, it should be out of the goodness of my heart, and not the benefits.

Buddhism believes that karma only affects those in their next life, but I think everything will break even in this life. Mostly because it feels like something bad always happens after I have done something bad. When I was trying to be rude with my x because he hurt me, I got a rash on almost the entire body - coincidence many will think, but it feels like karma always gets me in one way or another, sooner or later. Have you ever felt like that?

Sometimes it feels like "the best" people are torn away from us first, in accidents or have incurable disease. Where did karma go then? I like to think that something better is waiting for them, something much bigger and great.

Life is unfair, but maybe it has its reason.

2010-12-08T18:27:00.000-08:00

There are 6billion people in the world

Har du noen gang tenkt på hvor liten vi egentlig er i denne verdenen? Av 6 billioner mennesker er det bare noen hundre som vet hvem vi er, og enda mindre blir påvirket av det vi gjør. Tenk på naboene dine. De har sitt eget liv, sine egne problemer og sin egen måte å gjøre ting på. Alikevell blir vi så sterkt påvirket av det som skjer i rundt oss at hvert enkelt menneske kan forandre seg helt.

Jeg vet at når jeg har kjærlighetssorg graver jeg meg helt ned. Jeg tenker at hele livet mitt har falt i grus og ingenting av det jeg har igjen betyr noe. Jeg tror det ligger i menneskets natur å tenke negativt og la det styre oss. Vi henger oss så mye opp i den ene tingen at dagene våre blir snudd helt på hodet. Hvorfor er vi så flinke til å fokusere på det negative? La oss ta en titt på de positive tingene som lett blir glemt:
Jeg har ingen uhelbredelige sykdommer, jeg har gode venner, bra utdanning og jobb som jeg elsker, jeg kan se/høre/snakke å røre meg, jeg har leilighet som gir meg ly og varme, jeg har en god seng, jeg har penger til mat og klær, jeg vet at jeg blir tatt vare på om noe skjer meg, osv.. - Se der, når man tenker på det blir listen nesten uendelig! Så hvorfor blir alt snudd på hodet da? Eneste jeg mangler er akkurat den ene tingen, kjæresten min, og jeg lar hele livet mitt bli påvirket av det. Kroppen verker, nattesøvnen forsvinner og jobb å skole blir et slit. Tankene surrer i hodet og det er lett å bli deprimert. Hvor gikk det feil, hva kunne vært gjort anderledes? Dagene består av hat - sinne - savn - fortvilelse, ergelse og man lurer på hvorfor dette må skje med akkurat meg? Man mister lysten til å gå ut å treffe venner, dagene blir lange og ingenting stemmer lengre, og alt det positive blir helt glemt. Man glemmer å tenke på hvor heldige vi er, vi glemmer alle de tusener som er redde for at de ikke skal overleve en dag til, og kunne gitt alt for å ha noe av det vi har. Det som påvirker oss er bare bagateller i andres øyne.

Hvorfor vet man ikke hva man har før man mister det?

2010-12-08T14:39:00.000-08:00

So we thought we'd try something new.

I've realized that it takes alot of nerve to tell how you feel. Not only when it comes to real life, where you walk amongs different kinds of people, all with different opinions and feelings, but also right here - in cyberspace. Especially when it comes to internet, I would say. Anyone can read. Anyone can comment. Anyone can say tell how they feel about anything, thinking that it doesn't matter because they probably won't meet each other on the street in the real world anyway. We can public anything we want. There are no limitation for how we use the internet. Some people seems to forget that they acutally are talking to another human being. And some people share information that never should have been released in the first place. Some people even lose their jobs and their friends because of the frustration they release in the heat of the moment.

I will admit that some of the reason for doing this has something to do with all of that. There are several people out there who made huge success by typing down their feelings and opinions with their signment beneath. And if my goal was to earn money and respect with this, I'd do that to. But that is not what I wish to achieve. You might think of me as a coward, I think I feel that way about myself right now as well, but I do not want people I don't know in person to talk about what I wrote on my blog yesterday. I don't want people to associate me with a blog. I don't want people to talk about me as if they knew me when they don't. Therefore I choose to stay anonymous. It's the best for me, my life, the people I live amongst and my future.

There are nothing special about me. You've probably figured out that I am a girl, and that is correct. I have my origin in Norway. I have a normal family, a normal education, a normal job and everything that comes with it, good and bad. That's all I am willing to tell at this point, so I do ask for respect when it comes to this part. Please do not search for a name, or a face to connect it to. I have nothing to hide. It's just that I want you the world through my eyes.

It kindof hit me that it might confuse you to read "we" at the top of this text. I just want to make it clear that I am not writing this blog on my own - there are more people to this than just me.

I write both in norwegain and english, but I prefer english. I still haven't figured out why yet. I guess it's just that everything sounds better in english. And it looks better. It's more comfortable to read too. There are no particular reason, I just like the way it sounds and looks I guess. But I will certainly write in norwegian sometimes too. Just not that often.

That's all for now. Stay tuned and take care!